A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
