I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
it glows. i had to have it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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