where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize