i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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