I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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