dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
