so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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