no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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