I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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