I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
