Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
