So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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