even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
