what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
