Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
