i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
