Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
