Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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