winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize