What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
