he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
