just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
