Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
