I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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