I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize