apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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