You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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