just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
