a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
