Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
