when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
