What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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