Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I don't think brook has ever known best
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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