before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
