I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
