My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize