I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
