I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
