Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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