Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
