Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
