He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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