Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
