Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
