he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
