i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize