Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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