There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
