we're blogging at a bar
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
