return my video game
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
