They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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