What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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