i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
