Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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