ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
