mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
