Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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