apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
