I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
